Avoiding Disillusionment

The first we experience disillusionment is usually in our teens because we are becoming more aware of the world and its realities. Later in life, we experience disillusionment as we achieve our goals and realize that our goal achievement falls short of what we thought it would be. As we move through life and reach new levels, we realize how little we know about the stages and levels of life. We are also changing and most often when we achieve a goal, we are no longer the person who set that goal. Learning to recognize when we have changed and adapt our goals is a big part of avoiding disillusionment. Regular resets and personal inventories help us redefine what we want out of life. There are 3 specific life phases that require a reset.

Graduating from college and entering the workforce is generally the first adult case of disillusionment. This is because very few of us understand what is necessary during college to succeed after college. Most us do not network nearly enough and even fewer of us gain internships that allow us to have relevant work experience. Taking responsibility for what we do not know is hard because we are taught that, if we do the right thing, our lives will work out the way we expect them to, and sadly that is not the case. This is because what the right thing is, generally speaking, is very specific to each desired outcome. Taking responsibility means doing your research and owning your outcomes. This shift from trusting society to taking care of you will greatly reduce disillusionment.

The next two phases of life that are fertile ground for disillusionment are finding a life partner and having a family. When it comes to finding a life partner, it is about safeguarding your time. Let people go early in the process who do not align with the future you see for yourself. Your person is out there, but you will never find them if you are wasting your time with people who are not a good fit. The final phase that causes disillusionment is starting a family. Children are their own people and, as such, have very distinct personalities. Who you imagine you children to be may not be who they are even remotely. Being open to who they are and accepting that you won’t know who they are until you meet them will go a long way to avoiding disillusionment. Managing your expectations and taking responsibility for your life outcomes will greatly reduce how often you feel disillusioned. You are the master of your destiny.