Happiness Blog October 7, 2019

One of the most intimate spaces in our lives is our mind. A key part of having a safe life is having a strong and stable sense of self that is more positive than negative. This comes naturally to some and is a challenge for others. This is because we all receive different things from the way we were raised. Some people receive a stable sense of self that makes their life and their mind feel safe and good. Others receive an unstable or negative sense of self that makes their life and mind feel unsure and unsafe. An unstable sense of self is a feeling of not knowing who you are or who you are meant to be. A negative sense of self is a feeling of unworthiness or that you are inherently bad. No matter what your sense of self is, it can become something that is positive and good. For some people, a technique called reparenting helps that happen.

Reparenting is a therapeutic tool that allows us to heal from wounds we received in childhood. These wounds can be caused by family issues, bullying, or our own inability to bond. For me, why we have these wounds is far less important that recognizing that we are wounded and knowing that we can heal. Hope is a magical elixir that makes so much possible, and one way that we can create hope is by creating safety. Having a safe home, safe spaces, and a safe mind makes the work of reparenting that much easier by lowering our defenses. We need to signal to ourselves that it is safe to do the work of looking at our past and exploring what we did and did not receive. Before doing this, we need to build up self-esteem and positive space in our minds.

I find that a great way to build up a feeling of safety is to actively set out to do so. For me, I create that safe space in my mind every morning. As a part of my morning routine, I spend 10 minutes giving myself praise and love. This may sound egotistical, but I promise you it is not. I am simply catching my moments and embracing my own greatness and positivity. Something I truly value about myself is that every day I dress comfortably. I also value that I put together color combinations in my clothing that make me feel like a flower. I don’t worry about what the world considers to be “matching” colors: if I’ve seen it in nature, I wear it. If it makes me feel good, I wear it. I dress for me. What do you do that is awesome and just for you? What did you do well yesterday? What have you done that is kind, interesting, or funny this past week? Spend time thinking about what is awesome about you, interesting, funny, or valuable. Then spend 10 minutes a day, at any time that works for you, and celebrate yourself by catching your moments. Give yourself love and praise every day.

Posted on Monday: 07 October, 2019