Healing Core Trauma

Core trauma is usually caused by a significant negative experience. We can experience a core trauma at any stage of life. The difference between trauma and core trauma is whether or not the negative event changes who we are out our core. I like to use two different examples that most people can relate to when differentiating between core trauma and trauma. Being cheated on is a traumatizing event and for some people impacts their ability to trust again and for others does not. Both types of people have experienced a trauma, but the person who is no longer able to trust has experienced a core trauma. Another example is a person who has experienced a hardship and continues to protect against it in the future has experienced a core trauma. Core trauma is something that permeates and touches multiple aspects of your life. Core trauma shapes our emotional truth about how safe we feel as well as our ability to trust ourselves and others.

As with any trauma, it is important to know that the traumatic event is not your fault. No one seeks out being traumatized. Sadly, a lot of our core trauma will have happened when we were children. If we were bullied in school, we might think we are unlikable. If we grew up poor, we might have resource insecurity. Whatever our core traumas are, we can heal from them and improve our security. The work begins by looking at the nature of the trauma and understanding why we suffered the trauma.

For most traumatic events, the first instance of the trauma is blindsiding, and we don’t expect it. Most people can emotionally own that this is not their fault. In my experience, it becomes harder not to blame ourselves when we experience repeated trauma. If we have a repeated trauma, it is important to understand our level of agency and power in the situation. Something all trauma survivors struggle with is the journey from victim to survivor. Most trauma is an instance of being victimized, and that is never our fault. That is the choice of bad actors with ill intentions. Removing ourselves from the reach of bad actors is often a complex process. This complexity is born out the fact that leaving any situation takes resources. Not having the resources to change your situation is not your fault. To heal from core trauma, we must be able to find a way out of traumatizing dynamics and then forgive ourselves and celebrate our ability to improve our life. There are no life circumstances that are forever once we decide that change will happen. You deserve healing. You are worthy of safety. You are a survivor.