Adjusting to the Pain of Communicating in the Digital Age

Some people thrive off of not knowing what is going to happen next, while others find not knowing to be torturous hell. Not knowing and uncertainty are like neon “Welcome!” signs for inner demons to run wild. These demons can wreak havoc on self-esteem and peace of mind. This creates the drive for action – any action. Sadly, the action most likely to be taken will only bring about more grief.

Because most people are unaware of each other’s life flow and tolerance for “actions pending,” those who cannot tolerate uncertainty suffer, and the electronic age feeds the urgency of now. It’s important to be aware that just because a person has Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, Bebo, Skype, Vine, YouTube, and instant messaging does not necessarily mean that they are attached to their gadgets. It is also difficult to discern patterns of connectedness and “checking in” on these various accounts.

Sadly, the more “plugged in” that life becomes, the more weight that is given to the unknowable. If a person does not respond to an electronic communication, it may reflect their feelings about the sender, but it is most likely a reflection of where their own head is at. It’s important to remember that interaction is not only a choice of whether to engage, but also of whether to engage via a specific medium.

In new relationships, communication is often not so much about the individual but about what they have going on in their life. When getting to know someone, if you find yourself feeling unsatisfied with a person’s communication style, maybe that person is not for you. Make an active choice not to pursue a relationship that will cause you pain. Make an active decision that you are worth whatever communication style you enjoy, and find people who are like-minded when it comes to communicating. Be upfront about who you are and what you want, and you will find like-minded individuals.

Posted on Sunday: 07 June, 2015