Beating Anxiety

Anxiety and worry are very different things. The biggest difference is how long the state lasts. Another difference is that worry tends to be triggered by real world events in real time. How we react to anxiety and worry is also a big difference. When we are worried, we start problem solving and looking for realistic solutions. Worry is often the precursor to anxiety. Worry becomes anxiety when we start to feel consumed by worry and find that we are spending a significant amount of our time having distressing thoughts, feeling helpless, and without hope. Anxiety takes our motivation and can often leave us with the feeling that nothing will ever be good again. With anxiety, it is common to feel trapped. Automatic pessimistic thinking is another sign of anxiety.

Now that we have a better idea of what anxiety is, how can you beat? Sadly, it is not as simple doing breathing exercises. You are fighting for control of your own mind. Knowing that anxiety is a liar and reflection of your deepest held insecurity helps to start detaching from the automatic anxious thought. Because anxiety is a liar, when the first anxious thought occurs, it is imperative to tell yourself that it is not true. Even if you have to qualify it and say right now in this moment it is not true. It is important to starve anxiety by not doubling down on the anxious thought. Pushing back makes it more difficult for anxiety to take over your mind. Refusing to accept the lie anxiety is telling is challenging. Anxiety will give you false validation that is near something true. For example if you do not have a large friend group, anxiety will tell you that you are unlikable. A lot of factors are at play when it comes to friendship.

It can be helpful to say the anxious thought out loud and then say out loud that is not true. Once you have mastered pushing back the anxious thought, it is time to take the next step and gather objective truths about yourself that contradict anxious thoughts. As you compile your objective truths, it will help to convert them to tangible items. For example, if your anxiety tells you that you are worthless, find something that reflects moments where you felt you had value. Invite trusted friends and family to help you gather positive facts about you and your abilities. Reflect on moments you felt successful, loved, and safe. Even the hardest of lives have moments of positivity. They may be harder to find, but I promise you it will be worth the effort. While battling anxiety, it is important to know that it is a process. Anytime you are able to push back is a sign that you can win the battle. If you find it too difficult to do on your own, find someone you feel you can rely on to help you with the process. I promise you can beat your anxiety.