Happiness Blog June 24, 2019

Self-reflection is a powerful tool in the anger management toolkit. It requires us to be totally honest with ourselves and often reveals our truth. After being in a situation that caused anger, reflect on what you could have done differently. If there was nothing you could have done differently, reflect on how you can avoid that situation in the future. If the situation is impossible to avoid, have a strategy in place for how to get through the situation without showing anger. To help with this, start a debrief notebook or journal. Use it to write about the situation that triggered anger and reflect on what could be done to minimize negative feelings in the future.

The self-reflection journal does not need to be written every day, but simply after we have felt angry. The journal can also be audio recorded if that’s easier for you. Research into self-reflection tells us that either writing it down of talking it out amplifies our recall and allows us access to deeper truths. Journaling after an anger episode will help identify triggers and underlying emotions as you unpack the incident. It also allows for regular check-ins for your anger management progress because you will have a record of how your reactions to being angry change over time. You will also have a safe space to explore your perceptions. Taking a few days and then rereading what you wrote you can capture how your perceptions of the event changed over time. This process will you understand your anger and reactions.

I know that journaling isn’t for everyone, but there are a lot of ways to do it. You can collage or create an art piece that reflects your feelings. You can take a series of selfies that capture your feelings. Writing down or singing song lyrics that capture your feelings is helpful. Simple voice recording or writing down whatever word come to mind is also helpful. Give yourself permission to experiment, and feel free to mix and match approaches. It is also ok if you don’t do it every time you feel angry. This is your process, so feel free to customize your approach. This is about you and building your toolkit. This is about finding the tools that help you understand and manage your anger. Find the way that works for you and do it your way.

Posted on Monday: 24 June, 2019