Happiness Blog May 20, 2019

When negative feelings about the past linger, that usually indicates that there has been no forgiveness about a past event. The most important person to forgive is yourself. We must accept that we cannot change the past. By forgiving yourself, you are freeing up the energy necessary to create change in the future. No one is perfect, and holding onto past mistakes we have made increases anxiety and emotional reactivity. Holding onto our mistakes creates guilt, which in turn increases defensiveness.

When our defenses are up, our inhibition and resiliency are down. Inhibition helps us to control our anger and hold our tongue. Inhibition is a key component of patience because when we are inhibited we do not react immediately. Instead, we take time to process what is being said. Being less reactionary keeps situations calm and reduces the likelihood that resentment will form on either side of the equation. In addition to reducing inhibition, guilt reduces emotional resiliency. Emotional resiliency is our capacity to bounce back from negative situations. With reduced resiliency, our ability to let things go in the moment is greatly reduced. Letting things go in the moment is one way that we prevent resentment from forming.

Forgiving ourselves for our past mistakes makes it easier to cope with things in the here and now. When we forgive ourselves our capacity to forgive others increases. When we forgive ourselves, we can let go of the past and ground ourselves in the present. Forgiving ourselves improves hope and positivity. When we can forgive ourselves, we embrace that the past is gone and we cannot change it. We can move forward and be a better version of ourselves by letting go of the past. When we shift the energy we were using for self-recrimination into a place of uplifting ourselves, we become the better version of ourselves.

Posted on Monday: 20 May, 2019