Identifying the Obstacles Preventing You from Becoming the Best Version of Yourself

Even the most motivated and self-aware people face obstacles in their self-improvement journey and feel stuck. This is due in large part because of the small thoughts, behaviors, and emotions that undermine our growth often go unnoticed. We tend to be aware of negative self-talk that is obvious and disregard the smaller, quieter thoughts and patterns that hold us back. These thoughts are usually not obviously negative. One such thought pattern allows us to dismiss needing help or setting good boundaries. Not wanting to be a burden or to depend on others holds us back because no one succeeds on their own. Every successful person had help along the way. It is true that in life there are times we need to just push through, but if that becomes our default, we miss out on objective perspectives and support that can help us grow and reach the next level in our journey. The mindset of not being a burden robs us of mentorship and opportunities. Needing help to reach the next level is not being a burden; it’s being human. Being our best selves also requires us to have good boundaries and to be mindful of the people we surround ourselves with.

Naysayers or those who yuck our yum are not truly on our side. When we are trying to grow, it is important that we surround ourselves with like-minded individuals and those who give us positive feedback, optimism, and support. It is also important that we are protective of our time. If there are people in your life that waste your time or engage in behaviors you are trying to let go, more often than not letting them go will be a big part of leveling up. How we spend our time is the biggest behavioral factor to whether or not we succeed. We need to engage in  behaviors that uplift us and keep us focused on our purpose. When we see ourselves backsliding in patterns that hold us back, we can always stop and reset. Being aware of the behaviors that hold us back starts with taking a personal inventory and asking yourself if your daily routine uplifts you and moves you forward. Think about the small incremental changes you can make to chip away at changes both big and small. When you find a behavior that is holding you back, ask yourself what gave birth to this behavior and develop new ways to cope or meet the need that the behavior is addressing. Being gentle with yourself can help behavioral changes stick and open the door to making the necessary emotional changes.

What drives the emotions that hold us back are our self-beliefs,  our internal narratives, and our comfort with change. Excavating and comforting our core beliefs about ourselves is a process.  It also not something that we only need to do once. At every new level in our life we need to take a personal inventory to ensure that we are updating our understanding of who we are. This is best achieved by observing our accomplishments and creating a positive narrative about how they were achieved. While it is true that every successful person had help along the way it is also true that every successful person had to do the work. Developing the habit of catching our moments and acknowledging our good work allows us to have positive beliefs about our ability to crate meaningful change and success. When we have an internal narrative of success and self-belief it makes change more manageable. Fearing change and the unknown is human. Knowing we can mange change and harness change for a better future makes that fear more manageable.