Improving Patience

Impatience is a painful state of being that destroys happiness. For the person experiencing the lack of patience, it is a very challenging feeling to overcome. Being aware for the damage a lack of patience does to you and those around you is a vital part of understanding why you need to change. You have the right to be at peace and for the people around you to not feel as though they are on edge. Becoming more patient is, at its core, about managing expectations and self-worth. When we have healthy self-esteem, it is easier to cope with slights. Most of the things that make us impatient are small, insignificant slights. Good self esteem allows us to put these small slights in perspective, and this perspective allows us to have a proportional response. In addition to healthy self-esteem, we need to manage anxiety. When we have anticipation, it is easy for anxiety to creep in and fill the space with negative “What ifs” which leads to a larger reaction when made to wait because of the emotional toll waiting has caused. Managing expectations is also important because it allows our lives to be predictable.

When things happen in the way we expect, we feel in control. When things happen late, life can feel chaotic and insulting. Adjusting our expectations about when a certain thing will happen helps reduce uncertainty. For example, if a friend or partner is always late, adjusting your understanding of their relationship with time will help. Having something to do other than waiting for them will also help defuse anxiety, impatience, and uncertainty. Being late is rude and unfair to those kept waiting, but the only person we can control is ourselves. If friends and loved ones are always late, telling them an early departure time can also help minimize the gap, or arriving separately can help. If it is a romantic partner, arriving separately will be a challenge, and I strongly recommend speaking with them about why you liking to leave at a particular time is important.

When it comes to entitlements and time, we cannot help our perceptions. There are people on the world who feel entitled to keep others waiting. We cannot change them. We can decide what our relationship with them will be. If you decide to have a relationship with someone who feels entitled to keep others waiting, then you need to do the work to have the patience to accept their timeline. You are in control of who you associate with and how you manage that association. Taking responsibility for your reactions and actions will help you reclaim your power and become more patient. Keep in mind that situations that test your patience are generally unfair and imbalanced. You cannot control this imbalance, but you can control your reaction to it. A big part of this control is reclaiming your time and your power. By having ways to fill the time that are productive, you can limit exasperation and in equity.