Is It Social Anxiety or Introversion?

This is a question a lot of my clients struggle with. Introversion, anxiety, and dread are all three very different things that often get placed under the anxiety umbrella. Introversion is simply the state of feeling that you expend energy in social settings. This can happen at the one on one or group level. Feeling like you expend energy rather than gain energy in social settings can impact your desire to engage socially, but a lack of desire to engage socially in and of itself is not social anxiety. Dread in an emotional sense is simply a negative feeling that is stronger than a lack of desire. I know that technically dread means to have fear, but emotionally that is not always the case. Sometimes we will assign the word dread to a strong aversion or desire not to do an activity or engage socially. Anxiety is a feeling of apprehension, nervousness, or worry.

Dreading interacting socially can be caused by the desire to conserve emotional and physical energy. If we have friends, family and partners with social expectations of us, then we can begin to feel anxious about not wanting to socialize. Differentiating between a desire to not socialize and then anxiety that a friend or loved one will be let down or inconvenienced is most likely introversion. Having worry about socializing because of how we think we will be perceived by those we are socializing with, or spending hours after a social interaction analyzing the interaction is social anxiety. Not being able to socialize when we want to because of an overwhelming feeling of uneasiness is also a form of social anxiety. Not having the energy to socialize even when we want to is most likely introversion.

Whether it be introversion or social anxiety, if the people in your life are not supporting your boundaries on when and how you socialize, it is time to have some conversations about how and when you like to socialize. The key is to know who you are and what your needs are. For both introverts and those with social anxiety, setting plays a large role in the impact of socialization. Think about where, what time or day, and what day of week you feel most motivated and comfortable and then plan socializing in that comfort zone. People who want to be in your life and support your comforts will adapt, and those who don’t may not have been the best people for you. You have a right to the social life that allows you to have more good days than bad. Your social life should add joy and make you happy. The purpose of a social life is to elevate the joy we feel from day to day.

Posted on Monday: 17 July, 2023