Letting Go of the Past

When we hold onto past hurt, we are generally searching for a way to heal. There is a popular concept that if we get closure that we will have healing, and that is not accurate. The inaccuracy occurs when our ability to heal is dependent on the behaviors of others. Letting go of the past is not about anyone’s behavior but our own. We are the only ones who can let go of our past wounds and baggage. We have the power to make the decision to turn the page, stop looking back, and stay focused on the future. Healing from past wounds begins with not being in dynamics that re-injure us. It’s important to pay attention to how we were injured and taking an honest look at our present and ask “are we repeating patterns that cause harm?”

We can get stuck in loops that do not serve us. We cannot heal if we are in the midst of being injured. Letting go of habits and dynamics that harm us changes us for the better. Focusing on being the best version of ourselves allow us to be forward-facing. It also allows us to see clearly the people, dynamics, and baggage that are holding us back. Our past can serve as an early warning system if we choose to use it as a guide of what to avoid rather than a reason to suffer. Making the choice is the first step. I know it takes more than that, but deciding we no longer want to be ruled by our past changes the way we interact with our past. Letting go of things in our present that play out patterns from our past and approaching life with this new perspective is freeing.

There is so much freedom in letting go of our past because staying stuck there is a place of pain and delusion. We cannot change our past. Ruminating on our past or replaying old hurts will not change the outcome. This type of rumination re-injures and keeps us from moving forward with purpose. If you catch yourself in a rumination loop, use the rule of five to break out of it. Name 5 things you can see, taste, smell, feel, and hear. Then ask yourself: what are you most afraid of? Whatever it is, realize that it has either already happened or will not happen, but either way rumination does not serve you. Look at this moment you are in and ask yourself “right now in this moment, what can I do to make my life better and be the best version of myself,” and then do it.