Overcoming Fear

Fear is at the root of most of our negative emotions. It is meant to alert us to danger, but as our physical lives become safer it begins to focus on our perception of danger. Most perceived threats are not nearly as dangerous as our fear would lead us to believe. There are very few things in life that, if not attended to immediately, will result in ruin. Very few things we are afraid of in our day to day life will lead to our death or the death of others. The urgency of fear is usually a perception of how immediate a threat is. Fear is also a lack of trust in ourselves to cope. If we have housing and our basic needs met, that is prof that we can keep ourselves safe.

Getting more than our basic needs met requires letting go of fear of the unknown. Getting the love and friendship we deserve requires letting go of our fear of intimacy. I think you can sense a theme here. Getting to the next level in your life requires conquering your fears. This is a complex problem and necessitates being really honest with yourself about what it is you want and what it is about that desire that makes you feel afraid. It doesn’t matter the size of the perceived threat. What does matter is knowing what the perceived threat is. Understanding what drives your fear means sitting in the fear place even when it is uncomfortable and exploring your automatic thoughts.

Fear doesn’t like to be examined because it wants action, not reflection. Staying with the examination even when it is uncomfortable will allow you to deconstruct what it is you are fearing and how real the perceived threat is. I advise in preparation for this examination to set aside a day and center yourself. Create an environment that invokes a feeling of safety, such as filling the room with a favorite smell or images of safety. Once you are feeling safe, ask yourself: what is the fear that is preventing me from enjoying my life? What is the fear that prevents me from taking action on my goals and desires? Remember to breathe and remind yourself that thoughts alone cannot harm you. You are safe, and you can do the work. You can have the life of your dreams.