Overcoming Self-doubt

Overcoming self-doubt is not the same as becoming more confident. It is true that you if you conquer your self-doubt, you will become more confident. The main difference between improving your confidence and reducing self-doubt is the focus. Confidence focuses on your abilities and talents. Self-doubt focuses on your judgements, self-worth, and personal qualities. A little self-doubt is healthy, but too much will lead to missed opportunities, procrastination, and a brutal internal life. Having the right level of self-doubt is a balancing act. A quick test to gauge if your level of self-doubt is healthy is to reflect on how many of the things you want in life you do not have because of what you “can’t” do. If there is even 1 “can’t” on board, your self-doubt is too high. In today’s world, there is a work around for any deficits a person may have that is preventing them from living the life of their dreams.

One of the benefits of the internet is that we have access to a slew of data that can show us people in our circumstances with similar skills and skill deficits doing whatever we think we cannot do. Getting rid of the internal dialogue of “can’t” sadly is not as simple having a “can do” attitude. I wish it was. Overcoming the belief that you can’t do something is a complex process. It is also a key element of reducing self-doubt. Step one is, when you encounter that little voice in your bead saying you “can’t” do something, ask yourself “why not?” If it is due to a deficit in your abilities or talents, you can acquire new skills and talents. If you don’t believe that you can, ask yourself why you are not worth the effort. Self-improvement takes time. Given the time, you can achieve your dream goals. Pick one of your “cant’s” and make a plan to gain the skills necessary to believe that you can.

By selecting a “can’t” and turning it into a “can do”, you start the process of teaching your inner voice that you can do more than you originally thought. We need to be careful in this process to ensure that we have enough self-doubt on board that we are not wasting our time. I think of this less as self-doubt and more as realistic expression of our true desires. For example, everyone has the ability to lose weight. There are surgeries, injectables, diet plans, and a whole host of other ways. The truth is that not everyone truly wants to be thin. Understanding the difference between what you want and don’t want will help keep your internal life balanced. Thinking “I can’t” is rarely constructive. Understanding what you truly want turns some “cant’s” into “I don’t value this enough to put my resources into achieving it.” There are some things we are not willing to sacrifice for. Everything in life at minimum requires time. Understanding what you truly are willing to invest your time to obtain will help erode the culture of can’t in your internal landscape. Once that is achieved, a healthy understanding of yourself with limited self-doubt will emerge.