Overcoming Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is one part self-perception and one part past experience. We all have failures in our past whether it be a bad grade in school, failure to meet our own expectations, or a traumatic event that has left us doubting our abilities. These failures, whether perceived or real, often become the foundation for our self-doubt and evidence we are unable to succeed. Understanding the underlying issue of our self-doubt allows us to unpack and heal that past wound or trauma. For example if it is something that happened in childhood, such as a bad grade or bullying imagine a child of the same age that you were when the event happened and then ask yourself: would they deserve to carry the pain of their actions or the actions of others for the rest of their life?

Realizing that you do not deserve to suffer for the rest of your life and developing a dialogue that reinforces this message helps with healing from childhood trauma. If you have let yourself down in the past, reflect on if the goal you set was realistic giving who you are. We often over promise and under deliver when it comes to changes in our behaviors. We can’t go from bad to good and skip neutral. A lot of people set goals without thinking about the distance from where they are from to where they want to be and what the path looks like from here to there. Taking a step and looking at what can be changed incrementally and then approaching goal setting in a step-wise manner will help.

Everyone has had some success even if it is as simple as “I am alive today”. Searching your life for successes allows you to switch the internal focus from nay-saying to supportive. We often put a great deal of energy into being supportive of others while neglecting ourselves. We need to be our own best and biggest fan. The road from here to there, like all other paths for change, begins with acknowledging where you are and finding a realistic first step. For most, this first step is forgiving themselves for any perceived failures and realizing that as long as we are alive we have the ability to change our story. Try starting each day by taking 5 minutes to acknowledge your successes. This habit will help refocus the brain to what is working and allows you to create an internal culture of positivity.  This takes time to develop, but at the end of the process you will be balanced and self-assured.