The Importance of Mood Regulation

Emotional regulation is our ability to control our emotions. How much and how little we are able to control our internal states and external expressions is closely linked to how successful we are in social and professional settings. Our well-being is also greatly impacted by our emotional regulation. How we express ourselves should be under our control, and we should present to the world the way we intend to. Our social presentation is often the biggest source of regret and driver of ruminating or negative automatic thoughts. It may surprising that, when it comes to mood regulation, it can be a matter of faking your way to success.

I know that authenticity is highly valued, and I agree that it should be. Where I diverge is when a person’s authentic self impedes their social and professional success. Sometimes, the best choice is to put on a façade and then assess if the gains are worth it. An example would be being pleasant at work and following the rules for a job you hate while you look for a new job because of the realities of the need to pay your bills. To be successful, you will need to craft a persona that allows you to suppress how you really feel. It is shocking to a lot of people that suppression and not being authentic plays a large role in emotional regulation. This is because of how heavily the social feedback influences how successful we feel.

When we are able to craft personas that result in us getting the feedback we desire or shaping how we are perceived, it improves our confidence in understanding social and professional dynamics. This is the first step in being more authentic and having more control over our moods. Understanding that it is rarely the right choice to share all of yourself in every situation is something that is just a fact. Talking about personal things at work should be tailored to the audience. When we are preparing the aspects of ourselves to share, we know that we need to step back and observe. We also need to step back and observe our emotional states and examine how we contribute to and support our internal states. The only person we can control is ourselves, and that includes controlling how we express ourselves.