Understanding Why you Feel Broken

Many of us feel broken. Some of us have felt broken all of our lives. This can be because of trauma, physical and/or mental illness. Whatever may be the cause I promise you are not broken. You are also not alone. Acknowledging the feelings is the first step.

Although it may feel overwhelming, or even frightening, it’s important to know that you are not alone. Everyone deals with feelings of brokenness and pain. Being able to recognize these feelings and knowing when to seek help so that you can heal from the hurt and live an emotionally healthy life is crucial for your long-term wellbeing and happiness. Feeling broken can be a sign of depression or an indicator that low self-esteem has come to a critical point. Persistent low self-esteem can wear you down until you feel as though you have nothing to give, and this can be exacerbated by not enough social and family support. Other contributing factors include underdeveloped communication and coping strategies. Feeling as though no one understands you would wear anyone down.

Emotional communication is a two way street, and it is important that you first asses if the person you are trying to communicate with is truly trying to understand your emotional needs. Are you seeking understanding from supportive people who belong in an emotionally intimate space with you? A sad truth is that not everyone is worthy of your emotional intimacy. Weeding out people who aren’t appropriate such as casual friends and those who are undeserving of your emotional intimacy will reduce strain on your emotional energy. A good way to assess this is to ask yourself if they are responding or reacting. Are they listening and taking in what it is you are trying communicate?

Because communication is a two way street, it is important to examine your communication style as well. Are you communicating when you are feeling very reactive or defensive? If so, it would be worthwhile to work on taking a step back and examining how you can express yourself in a less reactive way. Beyond communication, when exploring the concept of being broken, it is important to consider what aspects of yourself you think need to be fixed. Ask yourself: do you want to “fix” these things for others or for yourself? We all have negative aspects about ourselves, but not every negative aspect needs changing. There are ways to compensate for our negative attributes that aren’t necessarily a negative internal experience. I promise there is more good than bad to who you are.

Posted on Monday: 08 May, 2023