Making Friends as an Adult

I own that I’m an old head who became an adult before the internet existed, and I am astonished by how much technology has changed the world. I love all the advances but also realize that a side effect can be that people are very lonely and starved for IRL interactions and friendships with people other than their coworkers or romantic partner. I find that social media gives and takes. Social media gives in that it allows us to access things more easily, and it takes because it makes it really easy to become isolated. I find that my clients who struggle the most to make adult friendships usually need to cut down on their screen time. Adult friendships are not all that different from childhood friendships.

Most friendships are interest and location specific. If work is the only place you go to on regular basis, you are limiting your ability to meet people you don’t work with. Getting out of the house and exploring the world will help diversify the people in your life and open you up to new and exciting possibilities while expanding your interests. If you have diverse interests, it is easier to have to conversations with strangers. Just like when we were kids, we like people who like the same things we do or are in the same places we are. What were some of your hobbies when you were younger? Do any of them interest you now? Is there something you have been meaning to start doing again that you used to do? Do you like video games, tennis, arts and crafts?

Finding your interest allows you to chose a path that will help you connect with people. If you are into video games or sports, you can join a fantasy sport or an e-sport team to get know people who are into the same things you are into. Another great way to make friends as an adult is to take a class. Learning a new skills provides structure and routine and an easy way to start conversations. Once you have that initial spark of shared interest or location, finding people that have the same communication style and frequency is how to expand the relationship. Don’t wait for an invitation: ask them to grab a bite to eat with you or to exchange contact info and find opportunities that are connected to the activity to spend more time together. Sure it’s going to be awkward at first, but all relationships are. Trust that you are worthy of friendship and the effort.